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Ariana Grande's Nonna Breaks Hot 100 Record!

Holy title Batman!

Thalia | Muse of Comedy's avatar
Thalia | Muse of Comedy
Mar 22, 2024
Cross-posted by Immortal Wit
"Hi everyone. My Nonno died last week and so I am not able to write the posts this week. Instead I will repost some of my favorite Italian posts that I wrote in honor of him."
- Thalia | Muse of Comedy

Ariana Grande’s Nonna, (Italian grandmother), just broke the record for the oldest person to grace the Hot 100 at 98 years old! She claims the record from the late Fred Stobaugh who was 96 when Oh Sweet Lorraine spent a week on the Hot 100 in Sept. 14, 2013 at No. 42.

Nonna helped create the song Ordinary Things with Ariana on the album Eternal Sunshine. At the end of the song you can hear her give life tips on being happy.

Since she had so much positive feedback, she is going solo! Her album Ignore Nonna? No Pasta is also chock full of wisdom that she would love to impart to the younger generations.

“It’s been 98 years of keeping a lot of opinions inside and it’s time Nonna let’s it all out!” she exclaimed.

Here’s the track list for Ignore Nonna? No Pasta:

  1. I’m Dying (For Great Grandchildren)

  2. You Could Do Better Sweetie

  3. On My Knees With Worn Out Rosaries

  4. St. Anthony, I Lost My Mind

  5. Ignore Nonna? No Pasta

  6. I Cook Better Than Restaurants

  7. Oil and Vinegar Do Mix

  8. Bring This Back. I Ordered Medium Rare

  9. I Should’ve Become a Nun

According to our sources, Nonno, never one to be one upped, is also releasing his own album Wine For the Whine:

  1. My Tomatoes Are Better Than the Store’s

  2. I’ll Be In The Garden!

  3. Those Concrete Shoes Blues (the Boyfriend Song)

  4. I’m Primo Qualità (First Child Song)

  5. Wine For the Whine

  6. Can You Turn It Down?

  7. Speak Up!

  8. It’s Pronounced Bocce, Marinara and Bruschetta!

  9. Why Do You Date These Guys?

  10. I Should’ve Become a Priest

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So…

  1. What would your grandma or grandpa’s songs be named?

  2. What’s some life wisdom you’ve found?

  3. Do you think you can beat the record?

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