Mortal Musings: What do you think about the 2024 Final Four?🏀

Do you think the Boilers are PurDUE?

Editors Note: I am a BIG Purdue fan and I am trying reeeeally hard not to rip on every team. I will try to remain objective and not point out the multitudes of weaknesses and shortcomings every team besides Purdue has.

“Can you point me in the direction of the stadium?”

-”Cataracts” Courtney Green, B1G Referee, 42-1 Against the Spread

“I’d like to address the absurd rumors that Yao Ming is my dad. Just kidding, they’re definitely true.”

- Zach Edey/Ming, 2x Wooden Award Winner

“I eat big men for breakfast. Then I also have some for lunch, dinner, some snacks in between, and right before bed.”

- (too scared to make fun of him)

“Our defensive philosophy is an extremely complex scheme involving movement, screens, and most importantly holding down Zach Edey’s arms.”

-Keenan McKreegan, NC State Coach

“We’ve had more blow outs these last two years than a student driver trying to drive past a nail factory.”

- Barkevious Johnson & Luca Kristczxcsxzkski, UConn

“I keep trying to tell my classmates that WE HAVE A BASKETBALL TEAM!!! I’M NOT MAKING IT UP!”

-Hingle McKringleberry & Draxterious Green, Alabama

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Honorary Muses

This is one of my favorite channels. Station 101 takes an in-depth look at interesting topics twice a week involving Crypto, GenZ or Mystery. My favorite is Bitcoin: The Rise Of An Empire :

“The first cryptocurrency, iconic enough that even people knowing nothing about crypto could tell a Bitcoin at the first glance. What you’re about to read is the story of how this digital currency sparked fervent debates, revolutionized the crypto market and turned into a worldwide fever.“

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Twitter: @thaliascomedy Reddit: u/thaliascomedy

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