On Vacation (So Here's Some Classics!)

"menial labor gives her the break she needs."

Jun 3 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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May 2026

She Blew the 9th Inning of the Met Gala

We asked her if the boos bothered her. She said, “I like it.”

May 20 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

6

5

Why Timmy Could Kill Us All

"If you want to be part of a lovable group of people that fight..."

May 6 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

11

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April 2026

Mob Forces Tim Ferris to Flee to a Mountain!!!

“Tim Ferriss is a liar!!!"

Apr 22 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

10

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Why Chiropractors LOVE Scandinavian Furniture 😍

"It’s all inspired from Soviet era prisons..."

Apr 8 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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March 2026

Major Investor Drops Substack After Text Centering Debacle

"Substack is over..."

Mar 25 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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5

Urinal Sinks are THE HOTTEST THING in Atlanta’s Airport 🚹

"Take care of #1 while also washing their hands"

Mar 11

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February 2026

Ford KILLS It With "OJ Edition" Bronco 🔪

"All gloves are off!"

Feb 25 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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⚡ Immortal Wit is Changing the Game ⚡

"Loyal Paid Subscribers Pay $0"

Feb 11 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

14

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2

One Week Before the Reveal!

"I have some good news and a surprise."

Feb 4 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

9

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Everyone Hates Free Bitcoin From Substack 📉

"Apparently we were wrong. Very wrong.” — Chris Best, CEO/Founder

Feb 4 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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January 2026