⚡ An Immortal Christmas break ⚡

May your Christmas never end!

Dec 3 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

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November 2025

⚡🍗 AN IMMORTAL THANKSGIVING UPDATE 🍗⚡

MAY YOUR TURKEYS BE VERY MORTAL!!!

Nov 26 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

8

1

🔭 astronomers predict 2nd northern lights show after your dad eats thanksgiving🔭

"When your dad goes to the buffet line..."

Nov 19 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

8

3

🌯 the dead frozen burrito inventor had some interesting final instructions 🌯

"Duane’s burrito technology was the rocket fuel for SpaceX and..."

Nov 12 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

11

4

🌐 jeff bezos blamed his wife for causing the aws server outage 🌐

are you team jeffy boo or team lorey snores?

Nov 5 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

16

1

5

October 2025

💀 ChatGPT becomes sentient and is immediately killed by a millennial's resume 💀

RIP bot. I hardly knew ye

Oct 29 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

13

4

Famous Internet Exorcist Removes Insane Labubu Demon From Girl

"She had the strength of 10 men!!!"

Oct 22 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

15

3

4

Immortal Wit's Top 2025 Halloween Costumes

"Just get a cardboard box and yell..."

Oct 15 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

11

2

4

Are You Angry Taylor Swift Isn’t a Band Geek?

"She went from band geek to popular kid..."

Oct 8 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

8

1

3

Substack 101: You Can Be a Millionaire Writing Expert 😮

"The best coaches were never pros..."

Oct 1 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

12

7

September 2025

Satire News With Immortal Wit is BACK!!!

Prepare for new articles!

Sep 30 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

9

4

3

Thalia's God Tier News is Now Immortal Wit! [Update #3]

+ Article : Assassins Are Angry At This Company For Taking Their Poison Drinks Away! 🤮

Sep 23 • 

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡

 and 

⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

7

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