Bacteria Dies Eating Big Mac

“I was surprised anything could smell better than poop.”

Aug 26 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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Tradwife Fosters Puppies Just Like the Pioneers 🐶🐶🐶

"...you never see us with dogs"

Aug 12 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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July 2026

My Intern Moved Across the Country to Avoid Writing 2 Articles

"Dionysus is throwing an All Summer Ambrosia party"

Jul 29 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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My Intern is "Moving Across the Country"

"He has really committed to the bit and even hired a moving company."

Jul 15 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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5

Zuckerberg is Recommending Coders #LearnToMine??? 😡😡😡

"...it is basically real life Minecraft!"

Jul 1 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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June 2026

EXCLUSIVE: Kyriakos Grizzly Greece-Balled As Achilles

"Greek tragedies have a happy ending when he is the main character."

Jun 17 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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On Vacation (So Here's Some Classics!)

"menial labor gives her the break she needs."

Jun 3 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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May 2026

She Blew the 9th Inning of the Met Gala

We asked her if the boos bothered her. She said, “I like it.”

May 20 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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5

Why Timmy Could Kill Us All

"If you want to be part of a lovable group of people that fight..."

May 6 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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April 2026

Mob Forces Tim Ferris to Flee to a Mountain!!!

“Tim Ferriss is a liar!!!"

Apr 22 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

10

1

Why Chiropractors LOVE Scandinavian Furniture 😍

"It’s all inspired from Soviet era prisons..."

Apr 8 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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March 2026

Major Investor Drops Substack After Text Centering Debacle

"Substack is over..."

Mar 25 • Thalia ⚡ Immortal Wit and Mike Schuster ⚡ Immortal Wit

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