Nerds are Autistic In New DSM 6 🤓

"Patients will be grilled by a group of teenage girls."

and

Jul 08, 2025

Tech bros are not just awkward nerdy guys, they are actually autistic according to the new DSM 6. (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)

President Dr. Min D. Graeps released this statement:

“The American Psychiatric Association is currently tired of telling everyone they are just socially awkward and not autistic so therefore we will begin categorizing all awkward people as autistic. Whether they are a savant or not will be diagnosed via a review of their yearly paycheck or if they can do crazy stuff like play the piano really well or memorize a phone book.
This has many benefits like curing social awkwardness by recategorizing it to autism. It should also be a boon to the medical industry once we figure out how to make a pill for it.”

a man with glasses making a surprised face — YAY!!! I’M MENTALLY HANDICAPPED!!!! (Unsplash/Abubakar Isa)

The diagnosis of autism will now be evaluated in a series of tests:

The Group of Teenage Girls - Patients will be grilled by a group of teenage girls for 30 minutes. The girls will definitely be judging them. After each question they will laugh and exchange looks with each other. Patients with noticeable amounts of perspiration are a failure.
The Sports Quiz - Patients will be given a difficult quiz on sports stats. Scores below 10% are a failure. Scores above 90% are also a failure.
The Speech - Patients will have to give a public presentation on whatever topic they choose for 1 hour to a crowd of 100 strangers. Super cool people will judge the cringe level and whether it constitutes a failure.
The Dance Circle - The patient will be required to participate in the center of a dance circle at a wedding. Inability to bust a move is a failure. Tearing pants and muscles are also a failure.
The Elevator - Patients will be asked to sustain small talk on a elevator with complete strangers for more than 6 floors. Inability to do so is a failure.
The Crowded Bar - Patients will have to maintain a conversation with a person of the opposite sex in a crowded bar lasting 30 or more minutes. Inability to do so is a failure. Convincing the other person or examiners to go to a dive bar is an automatic pass with no further tests needed.

In related news, Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook, Apple, and Netflix have all announced that 100% of their workforce is mentally handicapped excluding their marketing departments.

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