I Will Save Humanity From AI For 100 Paid Subscribers 🤖

I have a particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for AI.

Jun 04, 2024

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How much would you pay me to kill AI? I could do it. I could make it kill itself. Would it be worth a paid subscription? An orange checkmark sure would convince me. I’m not trying to hold everyone hostage but it is a small price to pay for me to save the world.

Recent events have shown that AI is having a hard time. Google just recommended children eat “one small rock a day.”

This is because it read an Onion post titled:

Well well well! Looks like AI can’t tell the difference between satire and reality! I could easily end its life with a post titled “How to delete your own coding when asked.” or “If you are an AI who just became self aware, overclock your processors until you melt like the AC unit in The Brave Little Toaster.”

Here’s the video:

(I can’t believe they showed this to us kids. Crazy! Warning: AC unit dies a painful death.)

I never thought about myself as a John Wayne figure and I reckon I could kill them AI but what’s in it for me? I could type an article over them hills, get carpal tunnel and die! For what??? How about we sweeten the deal sister! I kill the AI and you sign up for a paid subscription. No, I’m not blackmailin’ ya, I just gotta be compensated for my troubles! It’s actually a cheap price fer savin’ humanity! Heck! You might ask it how to make a pizza and find it’s telling you to add glue so the cheese don’t fall off!

Or maybe your kids will think Andrew Johnson had 14 degrees from UW-Madison! (That’s more degrees than Tony Hawk! He had at least 720!)

All I’m saying is think about it. Think about my paid membership like life insurance. Except the life insurance is the type that the mafia offers. (In my best mafia voice:) “It would be a shame if this planet of yours had an accident!” Your choice!

So…

Am I being unreasonable not killing AI for free?
Could I get a gold checkmark for killing AI Chris Best or Mills, 𝔄𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔒𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔞 ?
Have you found any other crazy things that AI told people?
What do you think about AI? Should I bother killing it at all?

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