After two insane displays of ruggedness by Stanley mugs recently the military has signed a deal with Stanley to convert their mug technology to battlefield armor.
One mug deflected a bullet and saved the life of a woman. The other survived a car fire and IT STILL HAD ICE IN IT!!!
We asked a General to comment on the deal:
“We at the military have been outclassed by 20 year old women for too long! It’s time we got some of this technology for ourselves! I pity those who dare provoke us.” -Max Kilingmacheen (5 Star General)
Here are some pictures of design prototypes that we found:
Soldier Forest Body Armor
Tank Forest Armor
Rest easy tonight mothers. Your boys are coming home safe!!!
And nice mugshots too!
This is the first and probably the best sh!tpost I have seen on Substack