⚡Thalia's God Tier Gift Guide For BEST FRIENDS 2024⚡

Perfect for loved ones, best friends, and people you’d love to be your best friend.

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Editor’s Note: This post might be too long for email so feel free to click the title for the full article.

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Over this year we have covered many products that are ⚡God Tier⚡ Christmas gifts. These would be perfect for loved ones, best friends, and people you’d love to be your best friend. Of course, some of these you might consider to be impractical, dangerous or absurdly expensive. You would be right, but hey! Love makes you do crazy things! Without further adieu here are the gifts:

Flamethrowing Robodog!

This will be great for that awesome guy in your life… unless he has a crazy ex girlfriend. Make sure she DOES NOT get her hands on the remote. For only $10k (not even joking) you can get an autonomous walking robodog that spits out streams of fire! He will have fun lighting inanimate objects on fire and would never use it on squirrels, annoying yippie dogs that wander onto his property, or the HOA that keeps telling him to take that tree out of his front yard because it looks mostly dead. What do I know though! I’m a goddess and definitely not a guy.

Butter Cheese Grilled Cheese Sandwich!

This is perfect for that Midwesterner in your life. Why not anyone else? Unfortunately the Butter Cheese Grilled Cheese Sandwich contains an amount of dairy that will obliterate stomachs that haven’t been properly conditioned to handle such a massive amount of cheese and butter. It consists of two slices of cheese sandwiching another slice of cheese inside. Then a pad of butter is placed on top to ensure maximum flavor.

Several people actually made this sandwich after reading this article and I have to say, it looked good!

Truffles

Get that awesome person in your life a truffle. Truffles are so good that I heard the government is actually considering outlawing it. It produces a degree of happiness that is so high it is not what the founders of America intended. We have the right to “pursue” happiness, not actually achieve it. Get it before it becomes illegal.

(Even better capture the Truffle Fairy!)

100% Amish Made Tesla

“Huh?” you might ask yourself. “How could a Tesla, a car known for using electricity, be made by the Amish?” Well that’s for you to find out in this article!

Get it for that crazy Tesla groupie in your life. The type of person who would have a NO CO2 vanity plate or brag about the vegan leather seats. At least it will improve the variety of things they talk about!

Yeezy’s with Febreezy’s

This is for the person you know is always on top of the latest fashions. Every outfit is made with repurposed garbage bags that look and smell fresh!

Prices:

• garba shhh - quiet the haters! (cape/shirt combo) $999

• stankee leggz - get your stank on! (pants) $899

Yes, Kanye can apparently make anything cool including garbage.

Caitlin Clark Indiana Fever Game Jersey

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never considered wearing a WNBA jersey until now. Caitlyn’s new jerseys are designed to protect her from excessive fouls and are pretty cool! Get these for anyone in your life. If you like to play pickup in some rougher areas, these will help protect you during and after the game. (I suggest not wearing them in your car.)

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These are great for hot, smart, and funny people, which you clearly are! If you weren’t, you definitely wouldn’t be reading this. Everyone else is probably finding old phonebooks to read or watching grass grow. 🥱

If you want to join a group of fun people in our chat and support me I would really appreciate it. I have some plans for paid subscribers like picking the topic of my next article, as well as some other things!

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https://www.thaliascomedy.com/5baa416b

Also… if I get 100 paid subscribers I’ll save humanity from AI. 😱🫡👇👇👇

Thanks!

⚡Thalia the Comedy Muse⚡

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