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Here’s another article that I enjoyed writing!
Interview! King Triton from The Little Mermaid 🔱
It’s Thalia here back with another interview! This time it’s King Triton from The Little Mermaid. I’ll ask him the questions you always wanted answered!
Thalia: So K3, how’s it goin?
King Triton: Swimmingly Thalia! How about you?
Thalia: Can’t complain! So! Some readers have been saying that you should’ve let Ariel get turned into one of those slug looking things for making such a terrible deal with the Sea Witch Ursula.
King Triton: Well I can’t do that! She’s my daughter! Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but if you look at how she hangs out with a child fish and mentally unstable seagull, let’s just say her fishing net’s about half full. If she were a fish she would be taking the short school to school. Her depth of knowledge in no way resembles the Mariana Trench. Keeping that in mind, I could not let Ursula turn her into a sentient booger.
Thalia: Yeah, it’s a pretty bad deal. You were pretty trusting that it would work out!
King Triton: Yeah some would say making a deal with a Sea Witch that you can obtain true love’s first kiss in three days after being washed ashore naked and unable to talk to the man you want to fall in love with would be a tall order. You’d also be correct!
Thalia: Plus she had never even walked or known human culture at all!
King Triton: Yeah I wish I had her luck! More specifically I wish her mom had her luck! I told her to stay away from shiny objects holding food in the middle of the water but nope! She was hooked by a fisherman! I always said Ariel took after her mother!
Thalia: So did you think Prince Eric would save Ariel?
King Triton: Of course! Anyone who is crazy enough to take on my daughter is crazy enough to drive the prow of his ship through the heart of a gigantic Sea Witch!
Thalia: You know there is actually a lot of truth in that. So you’re currently being wheeled around in an aquarium that’s paid for by your King son-in-law. Got any plans while you’re on dry land?
King Triton: Oh yeah! We’re gonna visit some Long John Silvers, give them a piece of my trident, I mean mind. Then probably visit some fish markets. Then finally go to war against mankind for what they’ve been doing to the fish population.
Thalia: What was that last part?
King Triton: Nothing! I will say that inspirational documentary you have called Aquaman REALLY got my mind working. They did NOT like Land Walkers and to be honest, I didn’t think we would have a chance conquering you. At least until I saw that movie. I’ve taken some notes and updated my land itinerary if you can’t tell.
Thalia: Well that’s not a documentary but, whatever, never mind. Got anything else to say to the folks before you go?
King Triton: Yeah! Make sure you enjoy life Land Walkers! Live like tomorrow could be your last, cause I’ll make sure of it!
Thalia: Okaaaaay… well that wraps up this interview! K3 I’m gonna have to talk to you afterwards about a couple things. See ya!
So…
How do you like this interview format? Would you like to see more of these?
Would you have let Ariel become a sentient booger?
Where would you rank her among Disney Princesses?
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I would have thrown Ariel to the wolves, yeah. She's got legs now, she can run.