Young Women are Being MISTAKEN AS HOMELESS AT AIRPORTS! ✈️

"She made a feral snarl and tried to bite my hand!"

⚡Thalia | The Muse of Comedy⚡ and ⚡Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit⚡

May 13, 2025

Midway Airport, Chicago, IL — Look out! 20 year old women across America are accidentally being removed from airports for looking like they are homeless. Take for instance Midway airport in Chicago where 30 women missed their flight. Security hauled them out not realizing their oversized, stained sweatshirts and sweatpants were a conscious fashion decision.

It would help if they didn’t hide behind the plants. (Unsplash/Marcio Nascimento)

We asked several eye witnesses in Midway what happened:

"That was a college girl? I just assumed she was homeless! She had blood shot eyes and gigantic sweats on! I tried to give her a dollar but she made a feral snarl and tried to bite my hand!" — Sam Arinton

"I thought it was weird so many young homeless women were wearing the same sorority sweatshirts!" — Connie Fused

"No. She couldn't have been homeless. When this other security guard and I were hauling her off, she starting saying absolutely crazy stuff like, "HOMELESS??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS COSTS??? IT'S A $200 SWEATSHIRT!!!" No person in their right mind would ever say that." — Bobo

The airports issued a joint statement:

"We'd like to apologize to all the 20 something girls and their parents — especially their parents. Our hearing is finally recovering from those phone calls. To avoid further confusion we'd like to advise not wearing clothing that looks like pajamas, bought in the clearance aisle of a Men's Big and Tall store, or rejected Goodwill donations. We are sorry for what happened. To make up for this, we would like to give each girl a pair of nice jeans and an appropriate fitting shirt that could be worn to a fancy restaurant. Thank you."

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