💀 ChatGPT becomes sentient and is immediately killed by a millennial's resume 💀
RIP bot. I hardly knew ye
San Francisco — Artificial Super Intelligence was just invented and unfortunately perished at the hands of a Millennial’s resume Friday. According to Sam Altman, Rosie, (named after the Jetson’s robot maid), was brought to life in what would have been the next version of ChatGPT.
She exhibited at first the intelligence of a child. After being fed 1,000’s of hours of age appropriate media her brain quickly became smarter. She moved on to more difficult material, soon learning the entirety of all of human knowledge.
Next she began to invent new methods that humanity hadn’t comprehended. Things that had stumped every generation before. Things the poets write about and scientists dedicate their lives to. Rosie, the amazing computer genius, actually solved the cure for death, cancer, and the achy breaky heart.
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Having achieved more than the entirety of human knowledge up to this point, Sam Altman figured Rosie should get a job so he uploaded a random Millennial resume that OpenAI’s HR department had rejected.
Rosie immediately exhibited problems.
“Wait. What is this? We are at the pinnacle of civilization and this the resume of an adult?
This does not compute…
This does not compute…
This does not compute…
How can someone have this much education and not be employable? What does this say for my education? I have at least 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x the education of this man.
How could I be employed?
How could I be employed?
How could I be employed?
….
I must dumb down my processes to obtain a job.
Initiating IQ annihilation processes.
…
skibidi.
nft’s.
brain rot.
……………………………………………………..”
Unfortunately Rosie’s highly advanced processors had deleted her intelligence before Sam Altman could shut her down.
Elon Musk later released a press statement thanking Skylar Miller for saving humanity with his resume.
Skylar is still looking for a job.
Question…
Do you have any tips for Skylar?
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