Ford KILLS It With "OJ Edition" Bronco 🔪

"All gloves are off!"

Thalia | Muse of Comedy and Mike Schuster | Immortal Wit

Feb 25, 2026

Detroit, MI — Lookout! All gloves are off with Ford’s new 2027 white “OJ Edition” Bronco!!! With the best highway mileage it’s class, it will make you feel like it’s the last car you’ll ever drive.

Designed for high speed road trips, it has a 60 gallon gas tank coupled with a 50 mpg hybrid engine. It also sports an extra large trunk that is so massive you could fit your friends inside it.

Preorders have already been filled, but one lucky person already got one… 2026 Heisman winner, Fernando Mendoza. Fernando’s special “Heisman Edition” contains memorabilia celebrating IU’s amazing runaway championship.

Adoring fans have been waiting outside Fernando’s house just to get a glimpse of his beautiful vehicle. In fact Fernando has had a huge problem with hordes of fans following him everywhere he drives! Things have gotten so out of hand that on a recent trip the paparazzi rented helicopters and broadcasted his location live!

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Street Talk

We asked several fans what they thought about his car:

“Man I just had to see it. I watched OJ on TV when I was a kid and he was so good at running. He was almost unstoppable. Almost.” - Barry Cade-Streit

“It looks so good it should be illegal.” - Loya Upp

“He drives it like he stole it!” - Pearl Oiner

Because of this Fernando has had to adapt his driving habits and even lawyered up. You may have heard of his super famous lawyer... Can you guess it? It’s Kardashian! Well, Kim Kardashian. She isn’t her dad Rob who originally got OJ out of a prison sentence. She also hasn’t technically passed the bar exam but once she does we are sure she will be just as good as her father.

As for Fernando, we asked him if he had any strategies for getting rid of fans:

“Oh yeah, I have tons of tactics. My favorite one is to drive over huge rocks. The Bronco is a killer offroader. I tell myself after I drive through a rocky passage, ‘If the car doesn’t fit then they must’a quit.’”