Why Chiropractors LOVE Scandinavian Furniture 😍
"It’s all inspired from Soviet era prisons..."
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Snap City, USA — According to the Chiropractors Responsible for Acceptably Correct Kinesiology (CRACK), Scandinavian furniture is the OVERWHELMING choice that they would choose for their patients.
Chiropractors say the different angles that the furniture attacks the back with, confuses the spine and allows for more bone density.
“Scandinavian furniture approaches back health in a unique way by shaping it into ways found in nature. Sometimes it curves the back like you are an embryo. Other times it flattens it like you are sleeping in a rock cave. These intense pressures result in denser bones when over time your back fuses into a solid mass incapable of movement.”
Many doctors have even begun donating them to prisons citing that correctional facilities should correct “not just the violent offender but also their spine.” Many prisoners have even decided to turn their life around after receiving them, especially those in the supermax prisons.
“Since I am serving my 50th year of a 400 year life sentence I’ve gotten used to a certain type of furniture and these somehow are way worse than anything I’ve ever had. It made me realize I need to get my act together and rehabilitate myself! I’m hoping with good behavior I can shave 345 years off my sentence and finally get a good nights sleep. Can I help you out to your car, kind madam?”
Architects even love them.
“Prisoncore has been all the rage lately. Cracker Barrel, Starbucks, and Chipotle love these brutalist square shapes. It’s all inspired from Soviet era prisons which everyone thinks are the most beautiful buildings of all time.”
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I asked a chiropractor named Pops Bodi what he thought:
“I LOVE it when my patients use this furniture. Whenever I hear they bought one my heart and bank account swell with pride.”
“Would you ever buy one?”
“Me buy one??? Oh no my spine has already fused into a single piece so I’m good.”
Question…
Do you want one?
Comment down below! 👇👇👇
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Absolutely why I stick with second hand American furniture. They have springs to properly poke the coin purse. This stimulates activity.